Unemployment. I hate it. I truely do hate it with a passion. I’ve always worked since I turned 18 and never really been out of a job……until now that is. And it ain’t fun. It’s actually horrible, it’s stressful, and very upsetting.
(FYI I was let off with loads of other people because there was NO work coming in for us. Which is understandable.)
To begin with I treated the first few days as a sort of holiday really. I applied to a few jobs here and there but my attitude was upbeat. I was confident and wasn’t overly worried. Even had an interview but didn’t get it. However I remained calm. That is until this week where I came to the realisation that I didn’t have any holiday pay or last minute payments for my old job coming in.
Now fear and worry have set in with the simple thought of: how the hell am I gonna pay my part of the rent!!!??
So I did the only thing I could do. I swallowed my pride and walked into a job centre. They have helped me apply for Jobseekers, even gave me a list of website’s to look at for jobs and I have a meeting this week with them. I’m nervous but feel more in control. I’m making a positive step forward.
Heck I even took a leap of faith and applied to some bigger jobs!! I even smashed a recent phone interview but I need to wait 3 weeks for the face to face interview (which doesn’t help me now!!) But I’m still gonna see what happens and I’m still gonna go for it if I can.
Even though I have all this positive stuff round the corner. I’m still so worried. How can I pay the rent?? Is Ross gonna cope?? How does he feel about this?? What about next months rent?? What about food and my boys?? And now my stepdad has taken a bad turn!
So many thought’s are running through my head but I know I will get there. I always do. It’s just so scary. So difficult and now is when those damn voices have come back to make things worse. My anxiety has come back with a vengence.
But I will get there. I’m just too damn stubborn to accept this.
Until next time my lovelies.