Hello everyone. Sorry for the very lack of posts. I’ve just started night shift and my college course and I wanted to focus on getting back into a small routine that has had a good effect on my health. In the last week though I had to do something that I was dreading, something I knew was gonna happen, and at the same time I just kept denying that it actually would happen.
Getting my gorgeous fur baby put down.
I know for some it may seem very silly to get emotional over something so simple and many others will understand just how hard it is. Bouncer, my black lab (well my mum’s cause he stayed with her) was a great dog. Super friendly and timid he always put a smile on my face. I loved going to mum’s and making tea. He would pad over and press his cute marshmallow nose into my leg to get a good scratch. Or just come over to say hello and lean against my legs and warm my feet.
But in the last year I knew he was going down hill. He began getting less excited when he saw me, and struggled getting up. The 5 stairs outside became a challenge for him and he even fell down them a few times. It was hard to watch all that fun energy just leave him and in its place an older, more placid energy.
I knew it was coming. Mum told me he was going to sleep soon. That I should come and say my goodbyes. So I did. I sat on the kitchen floor and let him curl up on me. I sat there and stroked him. Scratched his ears the way he loved it, rubbed his belly and hugged him close. I don’t know how long I was there for, but I had to leave. I had an appointment and work straight after. I knew I wasn’t gonna see him again.
A few days later I went back to my mum’s. Now in my head I knew he wasn’t gonna be there but in my heart I still expected to see his cute face and his chocolate brown eyes. I made tea……..and I didn’t feel his nose against my leg. He wasn’t padding about out in the back or sprawled out on the top step. Bouncer really was gone. And I don’t think it’s fully hit me yet. He was my furbaby. He was calm and patient. Never judged and let me speak my mind. He didn’t laugh or ridicule me for a failure. But sat there calmly, listening away.
I miss him. But now he ain’t suffering and in pain. It could have gotten worse for him. At least now I know he is okay, and can play till his hearts full.